Memories

I remember very few things in detail, and this memory I will be recalling is not unlike most others. I hope you will bear with me until the end, though.

Years ago, I was in one of the many poetry classes I took at CSUN, quite bored and ready to go home for the night, when the professor decided to play us a reading of one of the poems we were studying on YouTube. I had mixed feelings about this until the moment I heard the voice from the speakers. Immediately, goosebumps formed on my arms, butterflies fluttered in my belly and a shock of electricity zoomed through my veins.

Alan Rickman. There was no hesitation in my brain. I searched the room in hopes of finding another pair of eyes that would connect with mine, telling me that the flood of emotions I felt were mutual. However, that didn’t happen. I was saddened, thinking to myself, “Really?!”

Moments later when we were at least halfway through the poem, someone finally said “Isn’t that Harry Potter’s voice?” Ew. That’s all I could think as I, probably rudely, turned and pointed out, “It’s Alan Rickman’s voice. He played Snape.” Still, nobody understood. I was alone in this class full of people also in their twenties, who I could not relate to. I wanted to go home even more.

I wish I could remember exactly which poem it was that we listened to in class. My best guess is that it was C.S. Lewis’ “A Grief Observed,” so I am sharing it with you all. Plus, there is a line that resonates now more than ever.

Alan Rickman, you and your voice will live on forever as legends. I will always feel those same emotions each time I see or hear you. I will try to push past my anger and celebrate you. Thank goodness for a long weekend that I can fill with memories of your talent and voice. Thank you for all of the beauty you left behind.

#AlanRickman #RIP #Words #Memories